I used to give all the f*cks. No lie, I was like Leo in that scene from The Wolf of Wall Street where he’s making it rain bills from the top of his yacht – just replace the bills with, well, you guessed it.
It’s exhausting and futile and there are only so many f*cks one can afford to give. Plus, learning to let go is so incredibly liberating.
By dwelling, you are consciously allowing yourself to remain in a negative place. And truth is, the only one who suffers when you hold a grudge or hold on to anger is you.
Here are five tips for learning to let go a little. Read on and enjoy - or don’t. I don’t give a f*ck.
Turn frustration into compassion.
Unless you’ve actually messed something up or hurt somebody in some way, any hostility directed AT you is more than likely not ABOUT you. The next time your colleague takes a jab at you, or your partner makes a bigger deal of forgetting to take the trash out than is necessary, rather than take it personally, flip the script and take a more compassionate approach. Is this person going through something that’s causing them to lash out? Is there something you can do to help?
We’ve all had bad or “off” days, and we all know that a little kindness can go a long way. In the wise words of Anais Nin, “If we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”
Note: if someone is just an assh*le, this does not apply.
Confidence is key.
Know who you are, know what you value, and most importantly, know your value. Save some of that love you so freely give to others for yourself.
When you’re sure of yourself and what you’re doing, you free yourself from the burden of seeking or needing validation from others.
Remember: just because people may not value something about you, it doesn’t mean you are not a person of value. Know, hold on to, and nurture your strengths.
Be mindful of gossiping.
What we put out there comes back to us – or can make us think that it will. When we speak ill of other people, it a) says more about us than who we’re talking about, and b) can create a kind of paranoia that others are doing the same to you. Live and let live.
Detach yourself from expectations.
This is not to be mistaken for apathy or complacency. Throughout our lives, we’ll be confronted time and again with situations or circumstances that we simply cannot change. If you’ve done all you can, attacked from all angles, and things still aren’t working the way you hoped – accept, adapt and move right along.
Who knows – perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise. How many times in your life have things gone awry, only to lead to something so unexpectedly better? I’m going to guess more than once.
Pick your battles.
Will it matter in 5 days? 5 weeks? 5 months? 5 years? If the answer is no, drop it. Chances are it’s not worth the fight.